Understand what a
Gold Digger is all about.
This blog post will help you determine if the woman you met is a gold digger or not. A gold digger wants your money, assets, time and your influence.
A gold digger is usually nothing but a con-artist. Does she want you for you as the person you are? Does she appreciate your good character or your money? A gold digger is a “parasite”. They usually do not have the ability, creativity or the know-how to earn the lavish lifestyle they crave. They rely on “men” to provide the lifestyle they want to live.
A long-term partnership means depending on each other through the ups and downs, and being financially reliable does help with a long term relationship.
The difference between a gold digger and someone who values your role as a provider is that the gold digger would deride and perhaps leave you if you lost your ability to provide for them financially.
A good person can appreciate your financial resources, but a gold digger appreciates only that, and will not see the relationship as worthwhile if it appears to her that you do not have enough money or influence for her.
Gold diggers manipulate by dropping hints that they’re having trouble paying their bills (sometimes they might even ask you directly for a “loan” to tide them over).
They know that you WOULDN’T want to see them get EVICTED or get their car repossessed, and you’re a good person who’s in a FINANCIAL position to help. But there’s a difference between a gold digger and someone who’s just fallen on difficult or hard financial times.
Look for signs that she makes poor financial decisions. Does she buy a new car with luxury features when they’re struggling to pay rent? Does she buy EXPENSIVE shoes or watches OR expensive cosmetics when their phone service is at risk of getting cut off?
Many gold diggers know better than to ask
you to fund their EXPENSIVE tastes, at least in the
beginning; they’ll tap into your desire to help them afford the things they need (food, shelter, transportation) so that they can spend their own money on the things they want.
When they discuss their financial PROBLEMS, suggest ways in which the suspected gold digger can make money fast.
When you mention the possibility of them selling their
luxury car, GOLD WATCH, diamond bracelet, mink coats or any other expensive item that could keep them from becoming homeless or having their utilities cut off or car repossessed, how do they respond?
The average person will be saddened and may even become angry or upset, but a gold digger will be appalled at the very idea that they should have to give up their prized possessions in order to meet their own basic needs.
They’ll treat your idea as goofy and just crazy. More often than not, their dismissal of the idea will be accompanied by anger or even rudeness. This
is a very subtle pointer that would give you a very good sense of their SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT.
Look for a sense of entitlement. Gold diggers feel that
they deserve to be treated well, and that includes
knowing that someone is willing to spend money on them.
Have you noticed unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment?
This sense of entitlement is one of the symptoms of narcissistic behavior, which has other symptoms that a Gold Digger might harbor:
•grandiose sense of self- importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
•preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power,
brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
•believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can
only be understood by, or should associate with, other
special or high-status people (or institutions)
•requires excessive admiration
•lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
•often envious of others or believes that others are
envious of him or her.
Ask a Gold Digger meaningful questions.
•What is the best gift they’ve ever gotten? Gold diggers will almost always cite an expensive, material object, not a uniquely personal and thoughtful gift.
•What’s the biggest thing you ever had to give up to do or get something you really wanted? What you’re searching for here is evidence of delayed gratification and the ability to give up something now so that you can achieve something greater, later. Gold diggers are notoriously spoiled or sheltered, and have never had to really wait, work, or struggle for what they want because somehow, someone was always there to help.
Take note to the type of questions they ask you. Certain questions which might seem harmless might really be an attempt to judge your ability to provide. None of these questions, alone, should get you worried but all of them on the first date should definitely send up a red flag:
•How much do you make a year? Why would she/he ask this question? Because a gold digger is a mobile calculator, therefore every question that relates to money is calculated to determine the percentage of the total amount that she/he
believes she/he “deserves”.
•Are you a homeowner? And what type of car do you
drive? They are trying to determine your overall worth
and whether being with you is a profitable investment for them.
•How many kids do you have? Your answer to the
question will help her/him determine (calculate) much of your income and attention goes to your children and how much time you can devote to HER. A gold digger is a needy individual that will take up a lot of your money, time and energy.
Search for signs of generosity and gratitude towards you. After having gone on several dates, has this person ever offered to pay? When you do pay, does he or she say thank you?
Do they ever offer to help you in other ways?
(And no, physical intimacy doesn’t count); do they cook you dinner when you’ve been out working late? Fix your computer? Run an errand for you when your schedule’s especially tight?
If these character traits are missing, is this really someone someone you want to get involved with? A person doesn’t develop gratitude and generosity overnight
Take one of your childhood fantasies and run with it. Tell the person you’re dating that you’re thinking about becoming the mechanic, farmer, supermodel, writer, [insert dream career here] you’ve always wanted to be.
Explain how if you were to ever do this, it would require a significant lifestyle change; you’d have to go back to school, relocate, or whatever would make it clear that your standard of living will go down dramatically. How does SHE respond? Does SHE seem concerned?
That’s normal. A good person will encourage you to follow your dreams while simultaneously helping you think of ways to do it practically and responsibly.
A gold digger will usually look horrified or disgusted and say things like “You’re not really serious, are you?” OR they are ready to call it quits and leave because you are paying attention to “YOU” instead of “them”.
Sometimes it’s a good thing to help certain people. Sometimes, if you’re financially capable, you could help someone from being homeless or help an aspiring artist or entertainer launch a career, but you have to be careful that you don’t fall into a pattern where your help become the norm, so much so that without your financial assistance, the relationship will crumble or they disappear.
If you’re the kind of person who has trouble saying “no”, or who is intensely sympathetic and compassionate, you’re more likely could get ripped off by a gold digger.
You might also face the feeling that this is one of the most attractive or intriguing people you’ve ever dated, and you don’t want to ruin your chances, but don’t be fooled by a good looking exterior. It could cost you. Remember, often times, a gold digger’s lure is her body, her face, her smile and her charm. Don’t get conned.
Again, you should listen closely to their “research” questions. The questions might seem innocent, but think about what they mean. Questions such as; “What do you do?” and “Where do you live?” These can be questions regarding how to calculate your net worth and lifestyle.
In any case, do not answer these questions directly – but start out by explaining your life story. What things happened to you as a child/teenager that shaped the life you live today?
A person who is truly interested in who you are will listen intently and ask questions of a more personal nature – whereas a gold digger will not have the patience to get to know you first; they will only want to find out your current financial position before investing any time in you.
Gold diggers in a social situation will work the room and are “on the clock”. The longer you can delay telling them what you do, they will be unable to size you up and you stand a better chance of weeding them out.
1. A gold digger craves status. She does not have long term goals. She feels she is entitled to anything you have or own. She’s a parasite and does not feel she needs to do anything to achieve it.
2. Your ego is boosted when you consider that she’s so
much hotter than you are, but bear in mind that this could be a bad sign. No offense, but if SHE’S a LOT better looking than you are, you have to wonder what she’s hoping to gain from the relationship.
If you happen to have a fat wallet to accompany your great head of hair, it could be a sign that she’s hoping to increase her wealth by associating herself with YOU.
3. Instead of climbing the corporate ladder, the gold digger uses boyfriends as stepping stones. In fact, looking back on her relationship history, you’re likely to find that each guy she’s dated has been richer than the last. You’re her promotion to a more fabulous, expensive life. She’s a parasite seeking a new and better host.
4. The gold digger craves high status, she achieves it by how she looks, dresses, her smile and her charm. She’ll regularly snub people whom she perceives as having lower status, like the homeless or those working in service jobs.
On dates, she’s more likely to appear impressed by men who own expensive toys, than if they mention they help out at soup kitchens for the homeless on Sundays.
5. You may see HER use her sex appeal – in order to get what she wants from men. She unbutton her blouse to reveal some cleavage or wear an extra short skirt. The gold digger uses her looks for short-term gain, and she probably charmed you that way too. But she doesn’t use her looks for long-term goals, simply because she doesn’t have any.
6. A gold digger will always dress in her finest clothing and look the best she can. She will seldom go outside of her home without looking the best she can. This is her lure. The gold digger will always dress to impress. But it’s with other people’s money.
A gold digger is always on the look out for competition and is highy competitive with other pretty women. She does not associate herself with other beautiful women. A gold digger is extremely insecure and keeps other beautiful women away from their target.
7. If you’re out to dinner and drinks with a gold digger, she will pretend the bill never arrived and doesn’t exist. It’s always up to you to settle it, and she never or seldom will offer to pay or go Dutch. Basically, a gold digger takes for granted that you’re a gentleman, and when it comes to shelling out money, you’re the one for the job.
8. The gold digger will ask you questions about your promotion at your job to see if you’ll be able to get her what she wants during the relationship. Her probing questions isn’t because she really wants to know about your situation – it’s always about what you money and status will get HER.
9. A gold digger may have other girl friends who are also gold diggers, but she may not bring them around you. Pay attention to who she talks about and what she tells you about them. If she talks about them taking advantage of men, she’s probably a gold digger as well. “Birds of a feather usually flock together”.
10. Here’s another TEST. When it comes to giving her a gift on valentines or birthday or whenever – give her a sentimental gift like a poem or CD that remind you of the day you met or something. Something that is heartfelt.
Something that is very inexpensive. She may give you a “strange blank stare” or look at you with curiosity. She may ask you if this is some sort of joke? Naturally, she prefers diamond ear rings or a diamond necklace or maybe a gold watch. The gold digger is eager for gifts smothered with money instead of just sentimental value.
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